Tonight, I got that now famous Windows scam call. Here goes the play-by-play, as best as I can recall.
Time: 6:43pm Atlantic Standard Time. (Try to picture the clock from 24 here…)
(Nothing for 10 seconds)
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Mr. Lich (Lady caller, with Indian accent)
Me: (Mr. Lich? like in Warcraft or something) I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number.
Caller: umm, can I speak to the owner of 506-555-1212* (*not my real number)
Caller: Sir, I am calling from technical support, your computer is infected… blah blah blah… memory… files… virus… hard drive… internet…yadda yadda yadda** (** I bunch of meaningless technical babel meant to confuse most people)
Me: Oh my, and you are calling to help me?
Me: Ok, please go ahead.
Caller: Please turn on your pc
At this point, I start a remote session to my Fedora 14 server, that I use for web design, ftp, and downloading files into a ‘safe’ zone. I wait 1-2 minutes to fake a slow start up… For reference, this is what my ‘Start’ button looks like in KDE.
Me: Ok, my computer is on
Caller: Down in the lower left hand corner, can you please to click on the Start Options button
Me: Ok, the one with the letter ‘F’ on it?
Caller: Yes, the Start Options button.
Me: In the lower left with the ‘F’ on it
Caller: No sir, with the Windows logo on it
Me: Mine has an ‘F’, like the Fedora logo
Caller: Sir, you have Windows?
Me: No, I have Fedora
Caller: Please hold sir.
(Put on hold for a minute)
Caller: Sir, so you have Fedora as your browser in Windows, right?
Me: No, I’m pretty sure the Fedora is my operating system
Caller: It is not Windows?
Me: No, I’m pretty sure it’s Linux.
Caller: ummm… please hold
(Put on hold again… really?)
Caller: So, you don’t have Windows?
Me: No, I use Fedora, and it is Linux
Caller: I have never heard of it (Me: What???? never heard of Linux? Fedora? WTF!!!)
Me: You can look it up at fedoraproject.org
Caller: Ok, thank you sir, fedoraproject… I can not help you with your computer, please have a good day.
Me: You too, and good luck.
Hahaha, scam fail!
Now to prepare for the next round… Windows XP virtual machine, here I come!